Another Year Gone

Looking back over previous years, I see that I've often had some sort of end of year wrap up as my last post. This is fairly typical of me. I like to wrap things up. I'm a finisher. Once I start something, like a jigsaw puzzle, to pick an example not totally at random, I like to finish it. That's most likely why I was an Eagle Scout and only left school after completing a Ph.D. I claim no other virtue in this tendency; I'm also a member of the clean plate club. Both of my parents, no doubt, instilled in me this particular character trait. But it was my father, especially, who was prone to remind me whenever he thought I needed it, that no one likes a quitter. My Dad was also famously a finisher; his stubborn determination to complete anything he started left a lasting impression.

And so over the years I have come to derive some strangely personal satisfaction from endings, from looking back over some minor or major accomplishment, task or milestone, and remarking on a job done. More recently, however, as I've grown older, I find I don't mind stretching things out, taking a little more time, even procrastinating. I think I began to notice this a few years back when I somewhat rashly proclaimed my intention to retire soon. Here we are approaching the beginning of 2011, and I'm still employed. I had expected to call it quits today, December 31, 2010, but for various reasons, I relented and gave myself two more months to get my retirement act together.

Now this does offend my sense of proper endings. I had thought that I would end the year and my own era of employment neatly together, and start a new year of retirement almost precisely coinciding with my birthday and the onset of my senior citizenship. What better birthday present, or so I reasoned back in 2006. And yet I am also strangely relieved to be able to stretch things out for a bit longer, to go into a couple of months of overtime, during which I can complete a few more things and get everything all wrapped up properly.

Not that it's ever really so neatly wrapped or easily finished. I suppose there will be some loose ends to be dealt with at some later date by colleagues left behind or yet to be hired. And here's hoping for many, many later dates. When you're a young man you may find humor in Dandy Don Meredith singing "turn out the lights, the party's over," but when you're a little older you hear the pathos and tone of regret in those words. Well, I never really liked that song anyway. I'm more in the mood to hear Wilie Nelson singing "On the Road Again"! Once I've finished with something, I like to start something new, if you see what I mean. I guess that's why I like New Year's Eve.