Want to be President? Here's what you do. First, divorce your wife and marry your mistress, preferably someone much younger. Then go on TV, preferably some religious talk show, and confess your sins and ask for forgiveness.
That's where Bill Clinton went wrong. He should have divorced Hillary and married Monica. And if Hillary's smart, she'll act now: divorce Bill and marry some younger campaign worker. Of course, it could be too late for her.
But maybe not for you, Big Al. Forget this global warming gig. That's yesterday's news. If you're going to run, there's still time to dump Tipper and marry some bimbo. Then go on TV and ask for forgiveness, and you're all set to run against Newt or Rudy, whichever one gets the nod from the right.
Of course, if John McCain decides to get another divorce, all bets are off.
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