I've Won Again!

I just received email notification that I'm a winner in the British Lottery International. What I find truly amazing is not only that I've won $2.5 million, and this despite the fact that I never entered the contest, but that I've won again. I received the same amazing notification about a year ago but deleted it before claiming my prize. Who would have imagined that I would be lucky enough to win two years in a row?

Unfortunately, as I was beginning to make plans to quit my job and move to the beach, I took a closer look at the email message, and I began to be suspicious that this message might be from the same folks who keep asking me to help them get their money out of Nigeria. In fact, that Nigerian accountant, Howgul Abul Arhu he calls himself, has a much firmer grasp of English than these British Lottery guys. Take a look at this:

We happily announce to you the draw of the British Lottery International programs held on the 24th of september 2005 in London.Your e-mail address attached to ticket number: 564 75600545-188 with Serial number 5388/02 drew the lucky numbers: 31-6-26-13-35-7,which subsequently won you the lottery in the 2nd category.You are therefore, been approved to claim a total sum of US$2,500,000.00(Two million, five hundred thousand, United StatesDollars) in cash credited to file RPC/9080118308/04.This is from a total cash prize of US $125 Million dollars, shared amongst the first Fifty (50) lucky winners in this category.

Something about that paragraph makes me think I'm not dealing with a real Englishman, despite the fact that he gives himself a very Anglo-Saxon name.

I sometimes wonder who falls for this stuff, but if P.T. Barnum was right about a sucker being born every minute back in his day, I suppose with the population explosion and the advent of the Internet those numbers must have gone up exponentially since then. Oh, well, I guess I better claim my prize. Then I can get in touch with Howgul Abul Arhu and see if he still needs my help with the transfer of that $47,500,000.00 he wants get out of Nigeria. Now what was it he wanted me to send him? My banker's name, telephone and account numbers, and fax number, as well as my private telephone and fax numbers (for confidentiality and easy communication), and my personal letter-head, stamped and signed.

Abul said the whole process should take about 30 days. And when I get my hands on that money, I'm going to send out emails to everyone I know and give them each a shot at about half a million bucks. I'll do it as a bank transfer to the first ones who give me their bank's routing number and their checking or savings accout number. That way there'll be no need for me to send any actual cash!